An Open Letter to Boys and Girls

There’s something about having a sixteen year old daughter that makes you much more aware of boys.
There’s also something about your daughter falling head over heels for one of these boys that makes you keenly aware of what you long for in a date for your girl.
Looking back,
I wish I had been more intentional with my own boys when it came to this part of their lives.  I’m still learning as I walk through this crazy thing called life.
While I fell in love with and still cherish and adore every girl who came in and out of our home as all of our boys went through and two continue to go through the dating phase of life,  I wish I would have seen at a deeper level just how delicate the hearts of these girls really were.  I wish I had spent more time talking to my boys about the power of their words and actions.
Because now I’m the mom of “the girl,” and when I see her smile and hear her talk about all the things that make her happy when she is with “said boy,” I realize just how fragile she is.
I realize that “really, really liking” someone is risky,
because when your heart is on the line it’s vulnerable, it’s weak, it’s able to be hurt.
As a teacher, I’ve seen hearts broken, innocence stolen, and tears shed over dating relationships gone bad.  As a mom, I can’t stand to think about it happening in my own home.
So, I’m writing letters today to all boys and girls who are or who will ever enter the world of dating.
Dear Dating Boy,
When you are with a girl, you are being trusted with a treasure.  Always remember this girl does not belong to you.  No matter how long you’ve been dating, no matter how crazy she is about you, she is not yours.  She is someone else’s princess.  She is someone else’s pride and joy.
Until you find the “right one,” “the only one forever,” “the perfect match,” dating should consist of talking and laughing and getting to know the girl’s friends and family as she gets to know yours. Dating may involve a kiss now and then (sorry, Tim, but it’s going to happen), but that’s it.  No more.
Your words should bring joy to a girl’s day and your actions should leave her feeling cherished and adored.  Dating should be fun.  It should be an adventure.
When you look into the eyes of a girl, you are looking into her soul, so look and see if you like what’s there.  If you don’t, then move on.  Don’t waste her time or yours. Look into your own eyes from time to time, too, and ask yourself, “Do I like what I see?”  If not, do something about it.  Make the world a better place as you navigate the world of dating.
Above else, keep God first in your dating life as in every other part of your life.  Seek His will always.  Pray constantly that He is glorified in all you say and do.
If you can do these things, you will be trusted to take a girl places like the park and the movies; and I think you will find the dating years of your life some of the most fun and exciting days ever!
Love,
The Mom of a Girl
Dear Dating Girl,
While your heart is fragile, you have more power than you think in a dating relationship.  Don’t ever take lightly the choices you make in how you dress and how you act when you are with a boy.  He is not yours.  He is a prince, and he is someone else’s pride and joy.
Until you find the “right one,” “the only one forever,” “the perfect match,” dating should consist of talking and laughing and getting to know the boy’s friends and family as he gets to know yours. Dating may involve a kiss now and then but that’s it.  No more.

Your words should bring joy to a boy’s day and your actions should leave him feeling cherished and adored.  Dating should be fun.  It should be an adventure.

When you look into the eyes of a boy, you are looking into his soul, so look and see if you like what’s there.  If you don’t, then move on.  Don’t waste his time or yours. Look into your own eyes from time to time, too, and ask yourself, “Do I like what I see?”  If not, do something about it.  Make the world a better place as you navigate the world of dating.

Above else, keep God first in your dating life as in every other part of your life.  Seek His will always.  Pray constantly that He is glorified in all you say and do.

If you can do these things, you will be trusted to go places like the park and the movies with a boy; and I think you will find the dating years of your life some of the most fun and exciting days ever!

Love,
The Mom of a Boy

I’m thankful today for a God who created both boys and girls.
I consider it a privilege and honor to parent both, teach both,
and share life with both every single day.

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