Holding On…..

“The Lord is like a father to His children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear Him.”
~ Psalm 103:13
Nick slept most of the day away. When he was awake, he was very weak. We were sure to have him drink every time he was awake, and thankfully, we were able to get him to eat a little too. You don’t realize how important things like drinking water can become until someone needs to be reminded to drink.

Our biggest concern at this time is a place on Nick’s head that has been bleeding. Our wonderful friend, Martha, who is an ER nurse comes every day to check on Nick and has been able to help us keep this under control. She was at our house last night til after midnight. Oh, thank you, Lord, for Martha!

Tonight, I am so thankful to say that Nick went to bed with no pain in his legs or back!! Thank you, Lord!

I wish you could all meet Nick and know him like I do. He is one of those kids that just grabs your heart the instant you are near him. He is so polite, so appreciative, so content…………

When you are with him, you just know that he is being ministered to by angels. He radiates peace.

He apologizes for anything that inconveniences the person helping him.

He gives a “thumbs up” when asked how he is doing.

He waves the “I love you” sign across the room when one is waved at him.

So, when I read the verse above, I knew deep inside that Nick must truly fear God; because God is so tender and compassionate with Nick.

Cancer only has limited power on Nick’s body. God has set a hedge of protection around Nick’s heart. A hedge that says, “You can’t hurt my boy’s heart….He is mine.”

As I go to bed tonight, I have to admit that for me today has been so very hard.

I cried in the shower this morning. I cried several times throughout the day while alone in my bedroom.

I have wrestled with many different emotions from anger to sadness to fear.

But, I can say without question that as I head off to bed, I feel a sense of peace knowing that as much as I love Nick as his mom, the Lord loves him even more and is like a father to him…….tender and compassionate. What more can I ask for?

The Great I Am calls and treats my son as His very own!

I don’t know what tonight or tomorrow holds………but I know who holds tomorrow.

And so I am holding on………………………….to the Master’s hand!

Praying that all of you are holding on as well!

Thank you for every prayer!

I am still praying for and expecting a miracle!

13 thoughts on “Holding On…..

  1. praying tonight! thankful for the miracles you have let us see in nick’s life. may God grant you both good rest tonight.

    love to you, my friend


  2. Tammy–Praying for a peaceful night sleep for all of you–and strength and healing that can only come from our Father.

    God bless you and Nick and family.

  3. Tammy,

    I wish I could come to your home and meet Nick–he is such and encouragement to me through your words. And then I would just hug you so tight while I was there.

    Continuing to pray…


  4. You have no idea how much I wish I could meet this boy I have had the priviledge of praying for for so long. To see his smiling face and the peace that rests on it. Thank you for sharing with us how peaceful he is and how positive. I’m sure you are so proud of him and the many things he has accomplished already. So much more than most of us accomplish in all our years.The peaceful fear of God is a hard thing to learn.

    Would you tell him something for me? Tell him that beacause of what he has to go through I have started praying for my own children alot more than I ever used to. I pray for them in a different way than I did before. And that my childrens lives will be changed forever and have a much different and grander path because of those prayers. He has taught me that a mother’s prayers are the best thing that we can give our children. For that Nick, you will never know how grateful I am.

    Love you Nick, I think your awesome. I pray for you and I always will.

    Cheri Nace

  5. Dearest Tammy,
    I have been following your blog everyday now for quite a while and today I feel I need to reply…Your strength and love is such an encourgment to many peoples heart. You and your family are going through such a test and continuing to uphold God through it all..I understand there are very tough times but at the end of the day or trial, God is still your rock. Even though you may have many questions of why at times, I want you to know that God has you on a purpose even just here on this blog reaching many people who may struggle everyday…Your dedication and LOVE for the Lord shows…and in return you touch us, you encourage us. God is working through you and what an encourgment that is to all of us. I would like you to know that I am also praying for a miracle for your family…I thank God for you and your beautiful heart..And that Nick does not have to suffer but be healed. You say that you wish we could meet Nick, but I want you to know that through your blog and your heart, I feel I already know you and your family. Give Nick some love from the blogging world and that his heart and couragious battle has touched many (even as far as Canada :>) GO NICK GO!! Tammy, thank you for your dedication for your blog allowing us to be on this journey with you tears and all!!! God please be with Nick and his family today that they may have peace.
    God Bless you Tammy.

  6. Nick has it….the peace that passes all understanding. It is a gift from his Father whom he knows well. I pray that he continues to rest in it.

  7. Tammy,
    praying for strength for Nick and all of you. Your faith is reflected in Nick’s courage, something that you have instilled in him through a close walk with God. Your words always give me strength and reading about Nick and his daily struggles gives me courage. Nick is a miracle! I feel like I know him through reading about him and the way you describe his sweet disposition. Thank you for taking the time to write these words, and for sharing your family with us. Here we are praying without ceasing! Nick’s miracle is going to happen.

  8. Sweet Tammy,
    Your family has constantly been on my mind, and I find myself lifting Nick up in prayer at random moments during the day. Cling tightly to your Father. He knows what you are going through, and He loves you so much.