As 2019 began, I didn’t write down any definite resolutions for the year.
I had a few goals in my mind, but they never made it to paper.
Strangely enough, my biggest goal was to start writing consistently again.
The past two and a half years have been a struggle for me.
I can’t pinpoint one specific reason for the struggle,
but I can definitely think of several situations that caused writing to become challenging for me.
Moments when time stopped but life had to keep moving.
Times when I cried but the reason for the tears couldn’t be shared in a public forum.
Decisions made by others impacting my family in ways I wished I had the power to change.
It’s difficult for me to write when I have to write around my emotions instead of through them.
It’s difficult for me to write when I feel misunderstood, bewildered, or angry.
Choosing to regain a sense of commitment to my blog was scary for me.
Because I knew there would be days when I felt emotions too complex to share.
And moments when the surface of my heart was damaged by words or actions of others.
And choosing to write would require going deeper than that pain for the source of my words.
Because of this, I considered being finished.
Aren’t there enough words in the world already?
And if not, aren’t there enough people still longing to share theirs?
Won’t life go on even if my blog stops?
I had to answer these questions before I could type my first word of this new year.
And here’s what I learned as I did.
There are probably enough written words in the world to carry us through time.
And if for some reason there aren’t,
there are definitely enough people already writing to fulfill this need.
And life would most definitely go on without any new words written by me.
So I wrestled with myself.
Why couldn’t I let it go?
I finally answered that question too.
But the answered required three words I’ve always struggled to say together………
I’m a writer.
Words release something inside of me nothing else can.
But I wanted something to guide me this year other than my emotional state.
I’m learning my emotions are as unsteady as the sea,
and choppy water can make the strongest stomach grow weak.
God reminded me of the reason I first started blogging.
To share my heart through His words.
So I decided to combine my daily Bible reading with my writing
and see what happened.
So here I am.
And my new Bible (The Day-by-Day Chronological Bible) takes one day off a week for some notes by the author.
And today his notes summarized what’s going to happen in the next few weeks to come.
Moses, Elijah, Esther, and many other key figures from the Old Testament are going to take the stage.
As if life were a play, they will enter.
Then exit right.
Isn’t that what we all do when our life story begins?
For however many years God chooses,
we get our chance to join His production.
Decision after decision keeps us interacting with the rest of the members of “the play”
in ways that shape and mold the bigger story
for the members who take the stage after us.
Just as Moses, David, and Esther changed the world around them,
our existence changes the world around us too.
And that’s where I think the enemy begins his daily work.
He tried to convince Moses he wasn’t good enough
and David he wasn’t strong enough
and Esther she wasn’t powerful enough
to make a difference.
But they took the stage anyway.
And look what happened.
What is he trying to convince you to believe today?
What negative words is he whispering in your ear?
For me, it was, “Just quit writing. You story doesn’t matter anymore.”
Is God calling you to write, to speak, to teach, to enter the medical field, to travel to a foreign land, to take pictures, to make a difficult phone call, to open a business, to apply for a certain job, to forgive, to hold on tight, to keep a promise?
What is it you’re running from this morning?
Never underestimate the power of your story.
Day by day.
Minute by minute.
Your story matters.
How different would today look if you envisioned yourself center stage as the sun rose and the curtain opened?
If you truly believed you were the main character of your life story?
And the Author was the Creator of the Universe?
There are 358 days left in 2019.
I’m determined to write something on each of them.
Leave a little mark on history.
And let God do the rest.
What mark will you leave today?
It doesn’t have to be big to be significant.
Just walk in His footsteps and you will lead everyone around you in the right direction.
And that’s all that matters in the end, isn’t it?
That we exit right…….
into His arms.
Praying for you all today and wishing my sweet Olivia a very happy 21st birthday.
My birthday wish for her is a day filled with moments when she gets to see
just as how much her story matters
to me and to those around her.