Just after posting my words yesterday, Evan came walking through the living room.
He had set his alarm so that he could get up and fix me breakfast on my birthday. When he handed me this egg sandwich imprinted with a smiley face and the word “smile,” I think he was surprised to see me turn around and begin crying.
He hugged me, and as I wrapped my arms around him and put my head on his chest it was as if my sadness washed away just knowing that even though he will be leaving soon he still loves me so much. Won’t Heaven be like that when we lay our head on Jesus’ chest? All the heartache of this world will surely fade away into perfect peace and love…..
He even surprised me and came home early from work last night so he could be with us for my birthday evening. I think he knows how much I am going to miss him……..and that I never want to hold him back from being all that he can be…….even if that means letting him go. Olivia made me a great big birthday card…..I think everyone in my family realizes that for some reason I am going through a little emotional slump…..goodness, please forgive me everyone…….
Tim had some of my closest friends over last night for ice cream cake. I have walked a lot of miles with these ladies. Twenty years of new babies and child-raising, church events, neighborhood get-togethers, and sadly, funerals of children, siblings, and parents, have bonded us deeply. It seems like yesterday we were all pushing strollers. Olivia is the youngest of all of our kids, so we are definitely entering a new phase of womanhood and friendship…a phase of out-of-town visits with children and moral support through phone calls has replaced late-night walks with crying infants and kids with fevers. Soak up every minute no matter what phase you are in…..they each come and go so quickly.
Tim remembered how much I love strawberry cheesecake blizzards and bought me a cake of that flavor. 🙂 He really made my day. 🙂
One of the things that we did this weekend was meet our “adopted” football boys from KCU. Koren Furrey organized all of the players so that they have “football moms” in Grayson. We have CJ, Caleb, Corbon, and Jimmy as our new boys.
I regrouped at school yesterday morning, switching to a book that I feel is more appropriate for my students at this time in their lives. The other reading teacher and I are staying after school to meet with our instructional coach and hopefully we can line out a few weeks of school in a way that feels challenging yet exciting for the kids. I feel better when I have a long-range plan and right now I feel like I am surviving on a daily basis as a teacher.
Please forgive for not hiding my feelings yesterday. I sat down to write to all of you and felt incapable of pretending that I wasn’t overwhelmed and feeling blue.
God is stretching me this year through my new job. He is teaching me new things about Him and His love. Isn’t He like that??? One of my students had this motto on her coat of arms we are making, “Faith = Success.” When she showed me, I just squeezed her hand and said, ‘I LOVE THAT!!” She looked at me and said in such a matter of fact manner, “I figure with faith I can do anything.”
From the mouth of a young adult God spoke to me……again.
With faith we can do anything.
Forgive me, Lord, when my faith slips into self-pity,