I woke up this morning feeling very blue. Visions of Nick danced through my head to the point that I thought I would not be able to face the day.
I managed to get Olivia and Todd off to school and start on some laundry.
Then I sat down to have my quiet time and remembered that last night I had found Nick’s IPod and had plugged it in to charge. I picked it up and turned it on and began looking through his song list when my eye caught the title of the song “Seasons of Love.”
I turned it on and immediately felt Nick’s spirit as he so often sang along with this song at the top of his lungs (as my mom even reminded me later today and our youth minister’s wife reminded me tonight at the Christmas play). Nick loved this song!
As I listened to the words and then did a search for the lyrics, I realized that God was sending me a gentle reminder that while I may be very sad, I also have a life to live with my children who are here………….I still have seasons of love to be shared just as I shared so many seasons with Nick.
None of us knows what our tomorrow holds.
But as the saying goes, “we know Who holds tomorrow.”
If I truly believe that God holds tomorrow in His hands (and today and yesterday), then I must embrace this season of life……..this season of love.
Yes, I know I will still have sad days, hard days, lonely days, long days………….
However, I have to keep walking and talking with Him and listening for His still small voice…….
For God can speak even through an IPod!
Thank you, Lord, for using Nick’s IPod to refresh my hurting spirit.
SEASONS OF LOVE
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year
In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter, in strife,
In Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life
(chorus)
How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love
Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand
journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
how do you measure the life of a woman
or a man
In truth that she learned
or in times that he cried
In the bridges he burned
or the way that she died
Its time now to sing out
though the story never ends
lets celebrate remember a year
in the life of friends
You can hear the song by clicking on the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84KcSyZbg0w
Thankful, once again, for a God Who never fails to provide just what I need to make it through another day,
In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
That is just beautiful. I’ve been thinking of your family in these past few weeks and all that you are going through. I pray for you all as I go about my day. I think of you often, especially you Tammy who I feel I have come to know through your posts. It is no wonder to me why Nick was as extraordinary as he was.
Tammy,
I totally agree with what you wrote below. It will be hard, but I know you will do it, because you are AMAZING…….
(I also have a life to live with my children who are here………….I still have seasons of love to be shared just as I shared so many seasons with Nick)
Thinking of you,
Charlotte
i love you, tammy. i’ve been praying so hard for you, the boys & olivia. thank you for sharing your ups, your downs, your struggles and your triumphs. they are encouraging to me & to many many others. love you so much!
I wish I could make everyone I know read your blog….I am daily amazed (and a tad bit jealous) at your faith and strength….and it makes me work harder to strengthen my own! Your family pops into my head at the strangest times, and I send up a little prayer for you all. Thank you for sharing your life with us….
Tammy,
Olivia and all the kids did a great job last night. I was so proud they managed to get through it without all the giggling! The practices I had seen had massive giggle sessions…LOL. There really is such a great group of kids at church. We here keep praying for you all everyday. Knowing God’s love peace and comfort surrounds you. Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas. Wishing you all a season of love.
Take care,
The Larrabee’s
Hearing this makes me smile. You’re doing good Tammy, even if you don’t feel you are…YOU ARE!
Praying for you during EVERY season!!! You never cease to amaze me…
Oh, just one more reason that I loved Nick from afar. That is one of my all time favorite songs!! I wrote a post titled 525,600 minutes on the one year “anniversary” of becoming ill. We are given each minute as a gift from God and it sounds like you are doing great things with each minute you have.
I still cannot imagine the pain and deep sadness you feel. But I am grateful that you are able to pour into the lives of so many others.
You are truly a blessing!!
~Sheryl
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Isn’t it amazing when we think we simply cannot get through another day our Heavenly Father gives us extra grace and we can make it after all? Tammy, you simply amaze me! Your strength and love for God brilliantly shines through your heartbreak and grief. Knowing you has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Thank you for being so transparent and honest with friends you haven’t met yet. Sending you love, hugs, and prayers.
I do love this song too. The movie “Rent” I do not support, from where the movie originated. But the words to the song are beautiful. Just wanted to let you know where the song came from. I had the video on myspace at one time. Love and prayers to your family.