The story of Balaam is deeper than my mind can go this morning.
Or my clock will allow.
I’ve reread so many verses and looked at several commentaries and still………..
I have questions.
Lots of them.
Did God ultimately want Balaam to go with Balak’s men or not?
The command to “Not go,” seems to be followed with a “Go.”
But once Balaam is on the road,
his donkey has a supernatural experience and does its best to turn Balaam around…
or at least redirect his steps.
Balaam seems caught up in the mission by this time,
and when his donkey finally talks to him after being beaten several times,
Balaam doesn’t even flinch.
He replies to the animal on which he is riding as if talking to a donkey is an every-day experience.
It is in this moment that God chooses to open Balaam’s eyes.
Suddenly, he see what the donkey has seen all along –
An angel of the Lord is standing in his path,
sword drawn,
ready to kill Balaam if he continues to move forward.
In this moment, Balaam realizes all power and wisdom come from above –
not from himself.
With sincere humility, he offers to turn around and go home if it is evil in God’s eyes to continue.
However, now that God has Balaam’s full attention, he sends him on his way –
with a message for Balak and a blessing for the Israelites –
the very thing Balak did not want to hear.
If I’m really honest this morning,
which I always try to be,
this story confuses me.
And if I’m honest again,
the path of my own life confuses me sometimes too.
Which way does God want me to go?
Doors open.
I walk through them.
Yet there are times I find myself wondering if this where I’m really supposed to be.
Have I gotten so caught up in a mission or a goal that I miss the voice of a talking donkey?
And what the talking donkey sees?
I hope not.
I want my eyes opened.
I want to see what Balaam’s donkey saw.
I want to know when the direction of my feet
does not match the direction of God’s will for my life.
Psalm 16:11 says,
You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
And Jeremiah 29:13 says,
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
God, make Your path known to me.
I want to find joy in your presence.
I want eternal pleasures at your right hand…..
and yours alone.
My eyes are open, Lord.
Open my ears, too.
I want to hear you.
I want to know your voice so well that there’s no mistaking it when you speak…..
through people or nature or donkeys or whatever you choose today.
In Your Son’s Precious Name,
Amen
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
I give them eternal life,
and they shall never perish;
no one will snatch them out of my hand.
John 10:27-28
I’m just a sheep, Lord, listening for the voice of a donkey.



In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
