Isaiah 53
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows……

It seems that coming home this week from such an emotional trip and then being so sick on top of my exhaustion has heightened my depth of sorrow in Nick’s absence from our lives.

Yesterday as Tim and I were trying to clean off the back porch, I stumbled across memory after memory of Nick…

his first cowboy boots,

his well-used football,

a notebook full of questions for the oncologist…..

The swing seemed to sway emptily crying out for Nick’s presence, his smile, his joy, his love for the simple things-like watching Tim and me clean!! He would have loved yesterday!

So last night as I curled up on the couch to check my email, my heart was extra-saddened to read of a tragic death of one of my friends’ friends’ grandson. A troubled seven-year old boy who had been found in Florida dead from what appeared to be a suicide.

Then this morning I again was saddened to read of the passing of yet another child from my online brain tumor support group.

Tears fill my eyes as I prepare for Sunday school, confused by the sadness that seems to fill this world so easily.

And yet behind me Olivia and her little friend giggle as they eat their French toast sticks and prepare to straighten their hair.

The faith of a child…………..

That’s what is required to survive this life.

That’s what Nick had that inspired so many.

True, deep, abiding faith!

So, as I venture off to finish getting ready, my prayer is that I will remember that Jesus understands my pain. He was well-acquainted with grief.

And my prayer is that the families who are suffering new and painful losses will feel His presence as they walk the difficult days ahead.

Lord, I love You.

Help me understand the purpose behind our suffering. Help me to trust You until the day I embrace Nick again…………….forever!

Thankful to serve the One and Only God of the Universe and thankful He understands my pain,