The Saturday immediately after Thanksgiving will always feel like the anniversary of Nick leaving us for Heaven, but glancing at the date on my computer this morning reminded me of the reality of today’s date, November 29th……. the ending date on Nick’s tombstone.
I really didn’t want to have an ending date etched in stone. I remember talking with Tim about placing a crescendo (<) instead of a dash after his birthdate (May 22, 1995) and just leaving it at that, but years from now people might not have understood.
When I think of Nick, though, I think of him fully alive.
I think of him grinning and, honestly, enjoying the fun of keeping us all encouraged with random pennies here and there and wind chimes blowing just when we need them.
I think of him taking care of Adrienne. He was always our child who asked about her often. “Mom, how old would Adrienne be now?” was a question he asked me many times in his little life. It was so cute to watch him calculate her age. When I think of them together in Heaven, I wonder, “Is she really almost 20 and Nick 16 or is she still a baby and Nick still 13?” Or “Are they the same age in Heaven?” I just don’t know. But I do know this:
They are in the presence of God.
They are safe from this world’s evil.
They finished the race beautifully.
Now my focus has to be making sure my other kids do too.
So today, I smile when I think of my sweet angels. I’m a blessed mom to have two children waiting for me in eternity. I wonder if they get to help prepare my mansion and Tim’s? If they do, I think I am in for some funny surprises!
Dad played another song for me this weekend. A song that seems so appropriate to share with you today. This is a song that you can also sing as you think of your loved ones who are waiting for you in Heaven.
Scroll down below my Facebook friend list and pause my blog music if you want to listen to this song that shares exactly why I can smile today and everyday.
HEBREWS 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,
and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus,
the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Oh So Thankful for the Promise of Eternity and for Each of You,
In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
THREE YEARS??? Tears stream down my face. Nick’s journey was such a part of my life. Your family became a part of “me”. Now, I sit here and realize how much of the past 3 years I have wasted. To honor Nick, Adrienne and so many of my friends and family that have go on before me…I NEED TO LIVE WITH PURPOSE!
Tammy, you and your family continue to inspire me. Thanks for sharing your heart with me once again!
Love to you,
Sheryl
Dearest Tammy,
Thinking of you and your dear family today; remembering you in prayer!
Your words certainly inspire! Thank you so much for sharing your heart once again! And that song…beautiful! : )
Love,
Tammy A.
God bless your beautiful heart! The sorrow of being without them now < the joy of being with them forever. But the now still hurts. Sending you love and concern.
(((( Tammy and family ))))
Thank you from the bottom of my heart as I follow your Heartfelt journey through this blog. You know the Lord sits beside as you write so beautifully and peacefully on this particular day of Nick’s leaving this earth to go to heaven to live with the Lord who reigns over us. And that song brought tears to my eyes with such reassurance. I know our loved ones and friends are happy, in no more pain, looking down on us. I too wonder how they will look. God bless you Tammy. Hugs, Sandy
Hey Tammy, This song helps me smile too and I wondered if you had heard it. It’s by Building 429 and the chorus says “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoq44rFNbhY