I have received so many precious and wonderful emails and words of love here on my blog. I cannot even put into words how they minister to my aching heart. I often find myself with eyes so filled with tears that I must blink to read another word. Thank you.
Tonight I read a quote in one email that caused me to stop and come to my blog and reflect on one moment of Nick’s special evening that I do not want to ever forget.
As the reality set in that we were facing decisions about funeral arrangements, I felt very strongly that I wanted the service to be a celebration service and to be after school hours. I wanted Nick’s friends to be able to come, and I wanted my teacher-friends to be able to come. I knew that so many kids had been praying so hard for Nick to be healed, and I couldn’t bear the thought of any child feeling that God had somehow “let them down.” So as we decided on the time of 4:00 in the afternoon, the issue of daylight came up with regards to the graveside service.
We decided to have candles available for everyone who attended just in case it was too dark to see.
Oh, how God had His hand in this decision!! It was amazing.
We had asked our dear friend, the funeral director, to take the funeral procession out onto the main street of our town and down through the entrance to the university where my husband teaches so that Nick could have one more trip through the college and down by our house. As we made our way to the cemetery, I remember looking over at our house and seeing the Christmas lights so beautifully lit and being so thankful that Tim had put them up early! Nick loved Christmas lights!!!
Then as we came up the hill to the place where Nick’s body would rest, my heart simply leaped for joy at the site of so many candles glowing in the darkness all around Nick’s special place right next to our precious Adrienne. Even as I type this, I am in disbelief that we are walking this road of losing a second child.
Wonderful friends from church had brought a beautiful crossed-shaped candlelabra and lit it right beside the canopy. The wind had made it quite a challenge to keep the candle’s lit, and I was told that one of the men had told our friends they were “fighting a losing battle,” but as God would have it the wind seemed to weaken long enough for Nick’s service and the candles burned beautifully.
As we sat in the darkness of the night with candles glowing all around us, faces could barely be recognized as I looked out into the sea of people on all sides. I felt so warm, so loved, so embraced by God’s people.
Then our friend who was doing the graveside service spoke of how appropriate it was for Nick’s life to end by candlelight as he truly was a “light” to this world!
And my mom and I found the whole evening to be exactly what Nick would have wanted. Nick loved nighttime! Nick loved his jammies. Nick loved to do things differently.
So, tonight, as I was reading some emails from friends and family, my heart once again leaped for joy as I read a quote that was shared……………..
It simply said,
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.–Unknown
Nick’s life is eternal. He shared his light through the good and bad days…..by sharing he did not shorten his life or decrease his happiness.
Actually, he stretched his life to eternity and he multiplied his joy exponentially.
I feel honored to have walked so closely to the light of Nick’s candle.
(I ended this blog entry and should have gone to bed, but instead went to check more emails and had received a devotional from December 2, the day of Nick’s service.)
The Scripture for the devotional once again caused my heart to leap for joy. God is speaking so lovingly to me, and I am just in awe of how He longs to be a Comforter.
Imagine the joy that filled my soul as I read these words from Ephesians,
“I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people.I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him.
WOW! Thank you, God, for knowing just what I need every minute of every day. Thank you.
My heart was truly flooded with light during Nick’s candlelight service.
I am just beginning to understand the wonderful future He has promised His people.
Forever Feeling the Warmth of His Glow,