As I sat with my friend earlier this evening and held her hand, she talked through her day and wondered what she could have done to make it any different. She is sleeping upstairs now with her husband.
Her boys are still playing with Nick in the living room, the oldest swinging from moments of laughter to periods of questions to times of tears and the youngest spending most of the evening relishing the night of coloring eggs and playing video games almost unaware of reality. My friend’s husband has been amazing. He has held her, encouraged her, and loved her through every minute.
When someone chooses to end their own life, they destroy so many others. The questions left for the family are endless. The hurt rips every heart affected by the loss. As we all sat in the kitchen tonight in silence, eyes were dark and sad all around the room. “Why?” That was the question tonight. “Why?”
As the two boys colored their eggs, I couldn’t help but be touched by the fact that both of them individually made eggs that simply said, “Nana.” One of them even asked his mom what Nana’s favorite color was…..hearing my friend reply “I think it was purple” and then begin to cry again just broke my heart. Nana may have felt that life wasn’t worth living, but to her broken family, her life was priceless.
My plea tonight to all of you is that you hug your family a little closer and that you realize how important your presence is in the lives of others even when you don’t feel that important.
If God colored an Easter egg, your name would be on it. So would Nana’s!
Please pray for my friend.
Tammy just wanted you to know I said a prayer for you and your family. I read your comment at Lysas. God Bless. Love your blog!
I was once suicidal but somone gave me hope that live is still worth living and I still hadnt given up. your blog is so right, thank you.