
If you ever wanted a reason NOT to believe in a loving God,
you might consider reading Exodus 12.
But if you ever wanted a reason TO believe in Him,
you might want to read this very same chapter……again.
I’ll never understand His ways.
Scripture confirms this in Isaiah 55:8-9.
So when I read in Exodus 12:30 that
“There was a loud wailing throughout Egypt because there wasn’t a house without someone dead,”
I’m confused.
How does perfect love cause anyone to wail?
If I stopped here,
I’d be done.
I’d walk away from this Book, this Story, and this God.
But an image still haunts me from a decade ago.
I didn’t snap a picture.
It would have been rude.
Inappropriate.
Heartless.
But I did allow what I witnessed to sink deep into my heart and soul.
I never wanted to forget what I saw.
A wailing mom in India,
bending low with her tiny baby,
letting his little head touch the concrete statue.
“That is the god of death,”
I was told by the one leading our group.
Only five short months had gone by since losing Nick
and in that moment,
I felt my whole grieving body ache along with hers.
He must have been a very sick baby,
and she must have been a very desperate mommy.
I remembered this feeling all too well myself.
I, like her, had tried everything I could to save my son.
I wanted to reach out and touch her that day.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her and speak her language.
I wanted to tell her there was Hope.
Hope for her baby even in death.
But a concrete god wasn’t going to lead her there.
Only a Living God could offer Hope.
That’s what I’m believing the Israelites were able to tell the wailing Egyptians.
Having marked their own doors with blood dripping from a hyssop branch,
an everyday plant that symbolized faith,
the Israelites had been spared.
Literally “passed over.”
Death had not been allowed into their homes.
But the sound of wailing had surely shaken their walls,
sent them running with hugs and tears to a people whom they had grown to love.
430 years is too long to be neighbors without getting somewhat emotionally attached.
So I read this story both as someone who has wailed
and as someone who has sat with others in the same depth of pain.
I read this story as a mom who has felt the agony of what felt like unanswered prayer.
But I also read this story as a mom who has chosen to believe I don’t always know what “answered prayer” means.
I believe the Israelites did for the Egyptians the exact thing I longed to do for the woman in India.
I believe they ran to them with Hope.
Offered the hyssop branch of faith as a peace offering.
Shared the story of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Introduced hurting moms and dads to more than a statue.
Somehow broke through their pain and helped them see that while none of us are exempt from death,
all of us are offered Hope.
Because later in the same chapter it says,


In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
