Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll.
Are they not in your record?
See, several children had collided while playing a game and this particular boy somehow ended up on the bottom of a pile-up and his head had hit the gym floor. As I looked at him and listened to him talk, his voice began to shake. As he neared the end of the dramatic story he reached for his head and just lunged into my arms bawling.
Love his little heart.
For nearly 45 minutes he had endured an art lesson while his head was throbbing and he was fighting back tears. I guess once he felt like he could open up without everyone seeing him, he just lost it.
After comforting him for a minute, I sent another child to get ice and by the end of the day this little sobbing boy was eating Valentine’s candy and doing great.
But for that brief moment in time. He needed to cry. To just get it out.
Grief is so much like this.
There are times when I just have to hold it in. Smile. Keep doing what the world around me is doing. Keep my guard up.
But if I can maneuver my way to a “safe” place or friend, I find myself sobbing….again and again.
I miss Nick. At night I have been struggling the most lately. Seeing him in my mind as he was before he was sick and then even after he began to get sicker and sicker.
I ask God to help me heal. I know He will in time.
But for now, I have to remember that sometimes life is like recess. Things go wrong and we end up feeling the impact of this world’s hard blows.
Other times life is like art class. We have to stay focused. Get the job done. Hold it together.
But then there are times when it is okay to go to our “Teacher” and just tell Him about our pain. Just kneel down and pour everything out – just like the woman who wet Jesus’ feet with her tears.
Eventually, we will find ourselves celebrating things again….like Valentine’s Day or whatever occasion lay before us.
God does turn our weeping into joy.
The secret may be learning how to NOT stay injured at recess (rolling around in our pain) or in art class (trying to hide our pain).
I think for me Friday was a reminder that it’s still okay to cry sometimes.