That is so true of me too!
I long to be more, do more, reach further……..but I find myself struggling so often to simply be what I already am.
What is the secret to growing?
Casting a vision
I don’t think so.
For me, growing only happens when I am digging deeper into Him…..His Words….His thoughts……His goals……His passion…..His vision……
Some days I feel so close to Him that I could burst into singing! I see Him everywhere. I know He’s near.
Other days, like many I have had lately, He seems unreachable, in some ways unapproachable…….
And I find myself wilting, drawing in, shrinking back from all He has planned for me.
But has He moved, has He changed?
I’m the problem. I’m the ever-changing. He’s the never-changing.
Tonight, I shared with Tim on the back porch over dinner a bit of my heart. I confessed my struggles and it felt good. It felt good to say out loud some of the things I had buried deep within.
1 John 1:8-10 (New International Version)
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
It felt good to expose some of my weak roots.
Reading through the Bible in a year isn’t enough…..I’m bogged down in battles between all of the “ites” of the Old Testament and honestly, I’m seeing myself as the person who is always at war, on a very personal level, I’m the one fighting the same old things over and over again. I read a passage today that said, “every spring” the same nation came to fight another one. Wow..not much has changed in 2000 years for God’s people except that the battles now are often internal rather than external.
So, what do I do with myself?
How do I apply Miracle-Gro to my spiritual life?
I pick a book of His Word, and I dig in!
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
No more posts about my life for awhile unless in some way they relate to a passage I’m reading. My sweet friend Melanie has been deep in the book of John, and she has inspired me to choose a book and dig in too!
Since Paul is one of my favorite Bible characters, I’m digging into the book of Philippians first…chapter by chapter and verse by verse.
If you’d like to join me, I’d be thrilled!
Just read chapter one by Friday and feel free to share any thoughts you have on the verses you read.
I started this blog in 2007 to share My Heart and His Words……every time I begin to struggle with blogging, I find myself at a place where it has become more about my words than His….and when it does, blogging, for me, has lost its value.
Just confessing this to you has cleansed a deep part of me. Thank you for your constant love as my journey with God seems to be an endless winding path of highs and lows. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I love you all so much,