But when I was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.
My heart grew hot within me,
and as I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:
When I ponder these verses, I feel as if David somehow could read my mind years ago and know just how I would feel in 2010…………………
I’m thankful that God chose to place such honest words in the Scriptures.
Passages like this one help me feel normal when I find myself waffling back and forth from days of feeling and sharing my deep sadness to days where I just want to smile and share about a book report Olivia has done at school or about a mouse hiding in our closet.
Sometimes I think about taking a break from my blog once again, and I may decide I need to do that. It has been a good thing for me in the past to occasionally pull away and simply “be still.”
But, like David, I sometimes feel anguish increasing inside me when I am silent for too long not even sharing anything that is good. 🙂 So for now, I will continue to speak with my tongue (or my keyboard) when the fire does burn inside me.
I love that the very next chapter in the Psalms begins with a passage I memorized last year:
Psalm 40
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
Like David, I do believe that healing comes after I confess out loud what I am feeling.
Today, God has once again lifted me out of a pit.
Olivia and I are headed to Lexington to visit a friend and then to Cincinnati to attend a bridal shower for my future sister-in-law. Thank you for loving our family through the sad days and the happy ones. I love you all so much and am thankful for the promise that I will spend eternity getting to know you all better,
In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
I love you Tammy Nischan. I have never met you, but oh how I love you.-Cheri