I’m entering the season of deepest, sweetest, richest, and yet most bitter memories of Nick’s life and passing.
For the first time since he left us, I have decorated trees throughout the house and actually dug out the old homemade ornaments.
Last year, I placed only one ornament on the tree. It said, “I need an elf.”
It made me smile, and it got me through.
It was enough.
This year, I knew it was time to rekindle the joy of Christmas in a deeper, fuller way.
And honestly, seeing Erich’s “first Christmas” and Lego ornaments……..
And Evan’s Snoopy and Ninja Turtle ornaments……..
And Todd’s elementary-school handwriting and little grin……
And Nick’s handprint……..
And Olivia’s Whoopee cushion…….
Have made me feel so thankful for all the precious memories!!!!!
Even though there will be moments over the next few days when Tim and I will both feel very sad, I wouldn’t trade the pain in our hearts for a life without ever knowing our sweet son Nick.
I know Tim wouldn’t either…….
And knowing that Heaven waits for us!!!
What more could I ask for?????
So, I’m smiling today as I look at my decorated tree………..
and I’m thankful that my “I need an elf” ornament has company!!!
In the midst of all of this, though, I have a confession to our dear friends from Gardnersville Christian Church in Northern Kentucky!
Erich was absolutely OBSESSED with the ornament pictured below when he was a toddler (22 years ago). He took it off the Christmas tree in the sanctuary every year at Christmastime and carried it all through the church building not wanting to put it back. One year I must have let him keep it, because I found it in our container of ornaments!! It is a thin piece of painted wood that looks like Santa…….probably from a little kit. Seeing it brought back so many sweet memories of Sunday afternoon dinners, Christmas caroling (Tim’s videotaping mishap when he stepped on a cat while singing), late night conversations, weddings, funerals, and so much more……….
If this ornament belongs to anyone in particular and you would like it back, I think Erich would be okay with that now!!
Please forgive your preacher’s wife from the late 1980s!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in case I don’t have a chance to write tomorrow!


In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 

Sweet memories, Tammmy. Have the Happiest Thanksgiving possible.
My heart rejoices for you in this step you’ve taken. May God bring more joy in the seeing of your precious memories! I love you, sister! Blessings!
All wounderful memories!!! I beleive everyone is ok with Eric taking the ornament, I remember all of those things even Tim stepping on the cats tail!!! Such fun!!! Love to all Tammy!
Love Dana