I’m entering the season of deepest, sweetest, richest, and yet most bitter memories of Nick’s life and passing.

For the first time since he left us, I have decorated trees throughout the house and actually dug out the old homemade ornaments.

Last year, I placed only one ornament on the tree.  It said, “I need an elf.” 

It made me smile, and it got me through.

It was enough.

This year, I knew it was time to rekindle the joy of Christmas in a deeper, fuller way.

And honestly, seeing Erich’s “first Christmas”  and Lego ornaments……..

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And Evan’s  Snoopy and Ninja Turtle ornaments……..

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And Todd’s elementary-school handwriting and little grin……

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And Nick’s handprint……..

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And Olivia’s Whoopee cushion…….

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Have made me feel so thankful for all the precious memories!!!!!

Even though there will be moments over the next few days when Tim and I will both feel very sad, I wouldn’t trade the pain in our hearts for a life without ever knowing our sweet son Nick.

I know Tim wouldn’t either…….

And knowing that Heaven waits for us!!!

What more could I ask for?????

So, I’m smiling today as I look at my decorated tree………..

and I’m thankful that my “I need an elf” ornament has company!!!

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In the midst of all of this, though, I have a confession to our dear friends from Gardnersville Christian Church in Northern Kentucky!

Erich was absolutely OBSESSED with the ornament pictured below when he was a toddler (22 years ago).  He took it off the Christmas tree in the sanctuary every year at Christmastime and carried it all through the church building not wanting to put it back.  One year I must have let him keep it, because I found it in our container of ornaments!!  It is a thin piece of painted wood that looks like Santa…….probably from a little kit.  Seeing it brought back so many sweet memories of Sunday afternoon dinners, Christmas caroling (Tim’s videotaping mishap when he stepped on a cat while singing), late night conversations, weddings, funerals, and so much more……….

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If this ornament belongs to anyone in particular and you would like it back, I think Erich would be okay with that now!! Smile 

Please forgive your preacher’s wife from the late 1980s!


Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in case I don’t have a chance to write tomorrow!