This sign seems a little pointless today.
And if I’m really honest,
so does the story of Moses and Pharoah as I move through my chronological Bible.
Sign after sign, Pharoah missed God’s message.
And sometimes I worry that I’m missing His signs too.
Seasons have a way of changing the meaning of signs,
and I’m beginning to wonder what season I’m in right now.
Plagues
Miracles
Charlton Heston – level drama
And here I sit…………..like a warning sign attempting to protect snow-covered grass.
Frozen
Wondering
Feeling out of place as I type.
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Moses felt out of place too, but at least he had a mission.
Trying to free the Israelites from the grip of a man who abused them daily,
it took courage for Moses to stand up to a man who could have easily had him killed.
There’s not much about my world that’s near that risky.
So I read the story of God’s people being released from the bondage of slavery, and I feel unmoved.
And this un-moving of my soul is really bothering me.
How can I be so unaffected by such a powerful story??
I hesitate as I ask myself this question, because I think I know the answer.
A warm house.
Plenty of food.
Good friends.
A loving family.
I read the words of swarms of locust and rivers of blood, and I turn the page like I’m reading a fiction novel.
A novel I’ve ready many times before.
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How can I read His Words and not feel changed in my heart?
Like a grass-protecting sign in the middle of snow, my words don’t match anything around me.
I second-guess every letter I type.
Just as the nearly snow-buried sign surely second-guesses its message,
I wonder why I’m even here…………..
in the world of bloggers.
This may be a writer’s biggest struggle next to having no words at all.
To write or not to write?
Why put more words into a world already FILLED with words?
Why warn of the presence of grass in a field covered by snow?
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And then it hits me.
There’s still bright green grass under this thick blanket of white.
Just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
And just because I don’t feel moved by the story of the Israelites being freed doesn’t mean it isn’t a powerful story.
The message of the Bible doesn’t change just because I do.
God is the unmovable sign.
Not me.
I’m the silly human who would move the sign just because the weather changed.
God sees the grass when I can only see the snow.
And He sees me even when I can’t see Him.
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I’m writing today not because I have anything to say.
I’m writing because God has something I needed to hear.
And this is it:
Tammy, even when your soul feels buried, I still see it.
Under the mounds of
tasks to do
and people to love
and lessons to write
and miles to drive
and questions to answer
I still see your soul.
And I will protect it……………always……………even when the signs of this world don’t make sense.
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The story of Moses may sometimes feel insignificant and almost unreal to me,
but my feelings can change nothing about God’s significance or power in this world.
Sometimes all I can see is the snow.
But God still sees the grass.
And even when I can’t see Him clearly,
He still sees me.
And you.
And He cares.

In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
