heartBG2

Extreme Dumpster Diving..

May 19th, 2009

 

Philippians 3

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

When Jonathon and I went to pick up the Nick Nooks last week from the vocational school, I was a little surprised to see “this” sticking out of the dumpster right next to the building..

2009-05-0120013 resized

When I walked nearer to get a better view, I knew  I had to take a picture or two!  After all, I had just written about me and Olivia dumpster diving the day before and this poor leg seemed to be attached to one overly excited trash collector.  2009-05-012 0014 resized

This “extreme dumpster diver” seemed to be saying, “I’ve taken my hobby a little too far!!!”

As I looked back through my photos and gave some thought to my new “friend,” it occurred to me that many times in life I’m diving for the wrong things.

Acceptance

Approval

Earthly Happiness and Peace

And the list goes on and on..

On the days I find myself headfirst in my “dumpster of despair,” I can just about point straight to the root of my problem and I believe this is it:

Knowing Christ and being “found in Him” is for some reason not surpassing my desire for personal gain.

And even more than that…any personal gain should be seen as “rubbish” in comparison to knowing Christ, and sometimes it is not.

So, I guess tonight as I reflect on these photos and the memory of the day they were taken, I want to remind myself to be sure and wake up tomorrow “diving in” with the right priorities.

2009-05-012 0015 resized

Knowing Christ!

Considering Everything Else as Loss..as Rubbish!!!

That’s what I want to dive into!

Just tonight as Olivia lay in between me and Tim in bed, she began asking questions about how we knew for sure that God is real…she asked some really tough questions..and at one point she said, “It just doesn’t add up,” as she asked about what color Jesus was and why God didn’t have a wife or a daughter.  It was hard for me and Tim to keep a straight face.  Olivia was so serious.

As I look at her sleeping now, I can’t help but think that her little time of questioning was part of her journey into “diving to know Christ better!”

What are you diving into today?   2009-05-012 0016 resized

heartBG2

 

adriennes angels and broken glass 004

I Tim. 6:6

A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that’s enough.

adriennes angels and broken glass 001 adriennes angels and broken glass 002 

adriennes angels and broken glass 003

Our home is overflowing with college kids, our own children, our friends..

and all of their shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Lord, for these reminders throughout my home…

Reminders that we have enough!

Keep me focused on the “enough-ness” of today!

 

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?
This has been a favorite verse of mine for a long, long time…….
I remember saying it over and over again in my head when we were waiting for the “next bit of news” about Nick’s health, thinking that no matter what an onocologist or surgeon said to me….I did not need to be afraid. My trust was in God and in His Word.
When Nick’s health began to diminish so quickly, and I began to face the fear of losing him, this verse took on a new meaning as I heard news from hospice nurses and pallitive care doctors. No matter what they said, I still knew my trust was in God and in His Word.
Finally, Nick breathed his last breath. As we all gathered around him to say “good-bye,” I remember thinking, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You….”
And I had to say the rest in my heart…..”In God whose Word I Praise!”
Even today I find myself saying the words of these verses as a way of getting through days filled with grief.
I have to realize that until God calls me home I am going to HAVE to face each new day with strength and purpose……not living in fear.
Believe me, the devil still wants to rack my body with fear. Olivia being extra tired makes me feel anxious. Erich leaving in just 10 days for an entire summer in Africa………a trip that required us to fill out papers concerning the organization’s policies on hostage situations and even the death of a college student while on the trip……takes my breath away at times.
And the list goes on and on.
Tonight, as I type from my “old bed” in my mom’s house, I am feeling the fear of public speaking.
Tomorrow I speak at a women’s brunch in Bowling Green, Ky. I feel fear……
I never feel adequate enough to speak at these types of events.
I begin questioning every Scripture I’ve chosen, every story I’ve decided to share……..
So for tonight, I’m just confessing.
I’m nervous.
Praying I’ll remember Psalm 56 tomorrow,
Tammy

Good Morning………….

May 15th, 2009

 

Genesis 1
And there was evening, and there was morning—

After every day of creation, God ended the great feat with these simple words………and there was evening, and there was morning (the first day, the second day, the third day, etc.)

I guess as I sit here in the darkness of the early morning, hearing the birds begin to chirp outside and smelling the fresh-brewed coffee sitting near me, I can’t help but feel humbled that no matter what I may accomplish on any given day or what I don’t get finished on my to-do list for another day………

One thing never changes………..

There is evening and there is morning……………

Another chance to rest and another chance to “try again”…………..

Really, nothing is more consistent than God’s creation and He acknowledged the reliable pattern daily as He worked His way through the first week of the beginning of “human” time……………..

So, I guess for this morning as I reflect on such a busy season of my life and as I look ahead at what appears to be an equally-busy summer, I want to pause………..

Long enough to soak up the chirping of the birds and to even possibly catch a glimpse of the sun as it pops over the horizon out my living room window….Tim is so good to notice the sunrise that I often miss…………..

And in my pausing, I want to praise Him………..for His compassion which is truly “new every morning!”

LAMENTATIONS 3

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

Sipping my coffee, thankful for a never-changing, faithful, loving, compassionate Father,

heartBG2

 

adriennes angels and broken glass 020It seems that every day I receive news of yet another child who has been taken from this world much earlier than their parents would have ever dreamed possible…

cancer, murder, heart problems, car accidents, and the list goes on and on…

How do we face such dark times?

I know that for me it is a daily struggle to not grow weary and discouraged as I try to live a life of hope in spite of my grief.  Not a single day goes by that I do not find myself longing to be with Nick, yearning to hear his voice in the other room, wanting to see his smiling face pop around the corner and feel him jump into my arms with a big hug..

Grief visits me often and with great persistence.

It wraps itself around my heart and sometimes seems to squeeze all happiness and purpose out of my soul.

So, it is in the moments when I do things like assemble memory boxes that I find my will to go on..my passion to help others as they walk this very painful and often very lonely road.

I am so thankful for my friends who choose to walk this road with me, many of whom have suffered great loss in their lives as well.

I wanted to share pictures of our first annual Adrienne’s Angel Memory Box Assembly Night:

2009-05-09 0031 resized 2009-05-09 0028 resized 2009-05-09 0033 resized 2009-05-09 0016 resized 2009-05-09 0017 resized 2009-05-09 0021 resized 2009-05-09 0020 resized 2009-05-09 0022 resized 2009-05-09 0026 resized 2009-05-09 0027 resized 2009-05-09 0023 resized 2009-05-09 0015 resized 2009-05-09 0014 resized 2009-05-09 0007 resized 2009-05-09 0008 resized  2009-05-09 0009 resized

heartBG2

Jonah is doing great!

May 13th, 2009

 

Just a little update to let you know that Jonah’s surgery went very well!

He is in ICU tonight.

If you go to Nationwide (use to be Columbus) Children’s Hospital’s website, you can send Jonah an e-card. Be sure to put Jonah Beck….there are two Becks in the hospital right now.

Thanks for all your prayers!

heartBG2

My Comforter..

May 13th, 2009

 

 

2009-05-012 0004 resized

II Corinthians 1:3-5

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

I didn’t really think about what I was asking for……

I just knew that this Mother’s Day I didn’t really want four hanging plants for my front porch (that’s sort-of become a tradition here).  I knew my summer is very busy and between keeping the flowers watered and the petals swept away I would end up with very sad-looking flowers.

One day while I was in WalMart,. I saw a beautiful quilt/comforter that I thought would be pretty in our bedroom..and it was actually less expensive than the normal four hanging plants.

I gave Tim the idea to do something a little different this year and told him about the comforter set.

Well, here it is!  And I am thankful!

However, as I was thinking about what I had asked for and as I remembered saying the words, “I would really just like a comforter,” it hit me…

THAT’S REALLY ALL THAT I EVER WANT, AND IT’S DEFINITELY ALL THAT I EVER NEED!

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Thankful for a God who knew that we would long for someone who could comfort us..thankful He sent His Son.

Thankful for a true Comforter!

heartBG2

Surgery at 8:30 a.m.

May 13th, 2009

 

Jonah will be having surgery at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning.

Please pray for Jonah, Kevin, Abby, and Dr. Kosnik.  Pray for a good night’s sleep for all of them, and for peace and strength…….things that make a time like this so much easier to face.

Also please pray for Tim and Ron Lindeman as they head out tomorrow morning at 6 am to be with the the Becks as they wait. 

I know it will be an emotional day for all of them.

heartBG2

Please Pray for Jonah..

May 12th, 2009

 

Yesterday right after writing my blog post, I checked my email and learned that dear friends of ours from church were at the hospital with their three-year old son who had fallen. His head injury was severe enough that they were going to be taking him by helicopter to Columbus Children’s Hospital. So I called Tim and we headed straight to King’s Daughters. Fortunately, our friend Martha works in the ER and was able to get us up to him a “back way” allowing Tim to pray with them right before Jonah was placed on the little stretcher and taken away from Kevin and Abby.

Brenda and Linda (two of my precious friends) were planning to drive to Columbus later in the day, so I headed home and met Jonathon to quickly run to Olive Hill and pick up all of our Nick Nooks!!! (I’ll write about those tomorrow).

2009-05-012 0019 resized

Then we set out for our trip to Columbus with a Basket of Hope and WalMart supplies Brenda got on the way.

I just learned that Jonah’s condition may still require surgery (we were hoping last night that it might not).

2009-05-012 0021 resized

He has another catscan tonight at 7 p.m. to see if the blood pocket is beginning to absorb into the brain.so far it is not changing.

2009-05-012 0024 resized

Please pray for Kevin, Abby, and Jonah as they wait today.

I wanted to share some sweet pictures of Jonah and his family.

2009-05-012 0020 resized2009-05-012 0017 resized

One special part of the trip for me was getting to see Dr. Kosnik (Nick’s brain surgeon is Jonah’s doctor). Thank you, Tim, for making those difficult phone calls to help that happen.

What a special, tough, emotional, wonderful, rewarding day…Thank you, Lord, for being our Provider, Comforter, Sustainer….our Everything! Thank you for allowing my first Basket of Hope delivery be to not only a dear, dear friend but also to a patient of Nick’s precious doctor! For those reasons, I am thankful.

2009-05-012 0023 resized
heartBG2

 

Isn’t it amazing how God can take what could easily be a very sad day and transform into a very special day.

Believe me..it was a choice I had to make without almost every breath…to not miss Nick being in the midst of all of the commotion here. He just loved when our house was full of people laughing, visiting, sharing life.

But I knew deep inside that he was here…….loving me through the day by sending person after person to fill my day with hugs and special moments.

I was greeted after my shower by Todd and Erich waiting outside the bathroom door to “shoot” me with a confetti gun!!!

Then as I left for church I discovered two beautiful “heavenly bamboo” plants sitting in our driveway with a card from a lady who lives in Grayson..wishing me a happy day and offering the plants in honor of Nick and Adrienne.

Our worship service centered around Mary, the mother of Jesus, and brought Tim and me both to tears as the sermon ended with “Mary, Did You Know?” Makes me think of every mommy holding little ones, raising toddlers, even juggling busy schedules with school-aged children…”Do you know…the plans God has for your children?” None of us truly knows, do we?

But I do know this..God has plans for each of them. Beautiful plans.

2009-05-011 0050 resizedAfter church, I was honored to have my picture taken with Mrs. Edith Strother….This precious lady is 94 and looks and acts sooooo much younger! She had all of my boys in the nursery.and when I was pregnant with Nick, she asked me what his name would be. I said, “Nicholas Yancy.” I’ll never forget her response which at the time seemed so prophetic. She took my arm and said, “How historic!” I remember thinking, “I’ll never forget that.” And I didn’t! Mrs. Strother may have known more than we’ll ever know. As a matter of fact, our last picture of Nick was taken with Mrs. Strother and her husband when they came to see him in late October. I love you, Mrs. Strother! Happy Mother’s Day!!

We had two families and college students come over for lunch, Our kitchen was full of talking and laughing. 2009-05-011 0060 resized We spent the afternoon visiting and then working in the yard. Olivia and I even did a little “dumpster diving” since the college kids had all moved out of the dorm!! She found some great treasures! Yes, we have a little “redneck” in us!!2009-05-011 0064 resized2009-05-011 0074 resized

I thought I’d just share a few photos from our weekend…2009-05-011 0087 resized Scrabble Fun..2009-05-011 0040 resizedDinner on Saturday night.. 2009-05-011 0033 resized Maria and Mallory.2009-05-011 0035 resized Matt, Brett, and Tim..2009-05-011 0082 resized Robert, Michael, Andrew, Erich, and Katelyn

2009-05-011 0081 resized Katelyn brought me flowers from Pam in Lexington! Thank you, Pam!!

2009-05-011 0080 resized Jon and Brandon.two of Nick’s buddies spent part of the day with me. Thank you, sweet boys, for loving me and remembering Nick!

2009-05-011 0046 resized Erich and Mallory..2009-05-011 0076 resized Jon helps me plant my heavenly bamboo.

2009-05-011 0069 resized Mallory and Maria exchanging cell phone numbers before Mallory leaves for Nashville. We miss you, Mallory!

2009-05-011 0067 resized

Evan, Maria, Mallory, and Erich….

2009-05-011 0059 resized Me and Olivia with my Mother’s Day gift from her..A Sno-Cone Machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-011 0031 resized Our driveway on Saturday night!! Tim had lots of help putting together a new basketball hoop!!!

2009-05-011 0066 resized Nick didn’t want me feeling lonely on Mother’s Day…This is just some of the kids I spent the day with! Evan, Maria, Mallory, Erich, Jon, Derek, Todd, and Olivia!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankful for a Father who knows just what I need!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!