Aching Today….

Trying to stay busy
Simple tasks become a chore

Longing for his laughter
Want to hear it just once more

Tears come without a warning
My heart aches beyond compare

Clinging to the promise
That Nick is safely in His care

Is he playing?
Is he singing?
Is he worshiping His King?

Questions without answers
Trying not to feel the sting

Thankful for the honor
That God gave me for awhile

To be the mom of a great boy
Who always wore a smile

Pray for me-I beg you
Keep me lifted to the Lord

As I struggle to recover
Nestled deeply in the Word

29 thoughts on “Aching Today….

  1. Without the promise, life isn’t worth living. Know that our whole family is constantly praying for you.

    When I think of this season, I try to grasp the feeling the shepherds must have had to hear the heavenly host announce Jesus’ birth. Nick now gets that feeling FOREVER. In fact, I pray you listen closely for it, Tammy, as I believe with all my heart Nick has begun singing right along.

  2. Dear, dear friend, My heart aches over your grief and my tears come because you are hurting. You are the perfect mom for Nick and you will be for all eternity. His light will shine on in this world because of you and he will shine in Heaven because he is a child of God. How blessed are we who knew and loved Nick because our lives will never be the same for having known this precious boy. He still wears the smile, only brighter by multitudes, as he plays, sings, and worships with Jesus. Oh how much we all have to look forward to for all eternity when we have fulfilled our days on earth. Keep the faith, my friend. I love you, Jennifer

  3. We are all praying for you and your family during this painful time. Thank you for sharing your life with us and with others. Your story has made a difference in our lives. May God continue to bless you richly as you bless others in his name.

  4. Tammy, many many times a day you come to my mind and I whisper a prayer for you. Yes, it all your questions in that beautiful poem. Nick is doing just fine and being taken care of by his Heavenly Father. In time, you also will be ok but know you are being carried by your Father until you can walk again just like the poem Footprints says. I love you dear and pray blessings, comfort, and peace upon you.

  5. Tammy- hold on to THE PROMISE- you will be with him one day. God is doing great things through all of you- even in your grief. Keep holding on to the love and prayers that are surrounding you. Listen for the still, small whisper of God.

  6. I am praying for you this morning Tammy and for the whole family. I remember that the days after the funeral are some of the hardest. I am sorry that it is so hard. I am grateful that you showed Nick how to follow Jesus. You are loved.

  7. Beautiful poem. I am praying for you and your family and thinking of Nick. Do you remember the song Wish you were here? “to run with the angels on streets made of gold, to listen to stories of saints new and old, to worship our Maker that’s where I’ll be” Remember, this is where Nick is.

  8. Oh Tammy, I just checked your blog for the first time in two weeks and my heart aches with yours. What an incredible son Nick was, and what an incredible Mommy he had. The bond you two shared will never be broken and I know someday soon you will be reunited in one incredibly joyous reunion. The more loved ones in Heaven, the dearer it becomes to us. Our time here on earth passes in the blink of an eye, and it will be mere moments till we are reunited with our loved ones and living in the sweet presence of our Heavenly Father.

    My prayers will continue — I know the Christmas season that is supposed to be so joyful will be a hard one — but live strong for Nick, and for Jesus! Your sweet spirit and beautiful testimony will glow like a CANDLE for all to see.

    Love & many prayers,

  9. Many times a day you cross my mind, and I whisper a prayer. May you feel all those praying for you today and the days to come. Your prayer warriors are still here and on the job! We love you!


  10. Tears flowing

    I have hardly commented on your blog but I have been reading it regularly and following the hard hard journey that the Lord has you on – but just needed to tell you that I will and am praying for you.

    The ultimate healing is when we are home free – Nick is already there and one day we will all be home – the place that are souls long for.

    Many prayers

  11. We are lifting your family to the throne of grace daily. We only ‘know’ you and your family via your blog, but please know we are sisters and brothers in the Lord and when you grieve we grieve.

  12. Tammy, Give yourself the freedom and the time to grieve. The Lord has you firmly in his arms. He will carry you through this. As sure as there is a GOD, Nick is there with him sporting that big ol’ wonderful “Nick” smile. There can be nothing harder than dealing with the death of a child. My prayers are with you and your family.

  13. I hurt for your hurting heart; at the same time I rejoice at the hope you celebrate each day until your family is fully united for eternity. Tammy, I am Jennifer’s cousin, and family and my students have prayed for Nick since his first tumor experience. We won’t stop. God bless you all – from Louisville

  14. Tammy, I hurt for your hurting heart, but I rejoice for the hope you can cling to – hope for a wonderfully complete family reunion. A reunion in the most beautiful place, and one that will never end. I am Jennifer’s cousin, and my family and my students have prayed for Nick for years – since he first became sick as a little boy. We won’t stop covering you in our prayers now.

    God bless you all,
    Linda Proffitt

  15. Father I come to you today on behalf of my sweet Tammy and her entire family.

    I pray you will envelope her with your great love, and comfort her only as one who knows the pain she is enduring.

    Lord, you said you are so close to the brokenhearted, and you would rescue those who were crushed in spirit.

    Let Tammy feel how very, very close you are now. Thank you for the promise we will be reunited again, and that Nick’s journey has only just begun.

    I love you Tammy‚ô•

  16. Tammy,

    Although you don’t know me, I want you to know you’re being lifted up to the Lord in prayer – and I know He will meet you there.

    In His Love,

  17. Dear Tammy ~ Thank you for the beautiful sonnet/Prayer.
    Yor are an incredible woman. I can only hope to be half the woman you are. Your faith is so strong and I think that say’s allot about your character.
    Please know we lift you and your family up in prayer daily.
    Love and Peace ~ Deborah Peterson

  18. Tammy,

    when I lost my mother to cancer I thought I would never get over it. I missed her so badly and everything reminded me of her. At that time the movie Pearl Harbor had come out and this song was what I had played when we had her service. It touched my heart and ive carried it with me all this time and today when I hear the song I can see her face and I can remember how her hugs felt and how her voice sounded how she smelled…. those little memories that seem to fade away with time I hope it can comfort you too and I pray for you and Your family every day.

    There You’ll Be – Faith Hill

    When I think back
    On these times
    And the dreams
    We left behind
    I’ll be glad ’cause
    I was blessed to get
    To have you in my life
    When I look back
    On these days
    I’ll look and see your face
    You are there for me

    In my dreams
    I’ll always see you soar
    Above the sky
    In my heart
    There always be a place
    For you for all my life
    I’ll keep a part
    Of you with me
    And everywhere I am
    There you’ll be

    Well you showed me
    How it feels
    To feel the sky
    Within my reach
    And I always
    Will remember all
    The strength you
    Gave to me
    Your love made me
    Make it through
    Oh, I owe so much to you
    You were right there for me

    [Repeat chorus]

    ‘Cause I always saw in you
    My light, my strength
    And I want to thank you
    Now for all the ways
    You were right there for me
    You were right there for me
    For always

    Christine Adams

  19. Tammy, i will be praying i read your comments sounds just like me and my family i lost my daugher my firstborn daughter at 26 yrs old my heart goes to you i know the pain you going thru,the lord will see you thru, time is the greatest healer take care love and prayers