I’ve never participated in a marathon or driven a car in an all-day race,
so I don’t know what it feels like to reach a place of exhaustion
that requires a break just long enough to sip a cup of cold water or have my tires changed.
But I do have a job that in some ways feels like a marathon or the Indy 500.
So when spring break arrived,
I felt my heart and mind crying for a pit stop-
a break from a demanding pace,
an emotional caseload,
and a glowing computer screen.
A change in routine.
A chance to be fully me.
So I traded my therapy hat for my MiMi hat,
and I left Joshua in the wilderness.
I pushed pause on every routine I hold sacred
in exchange for memories I’ll hold sacred for many years to come.
And like Joshua, I took my shoes off on what I believe was holy ground.
I felt guilty, at first, sleeping in a little later each morning.
But I knew if I wanted to keep up with a toddler
whose energy level made the Energizer Rabbit look like a bunny moving in slow motion
something would have to give.
And 5 a.m. mornings made the list of things I would have to sacrifice for the sake of my sanity and my granddaughter’s safety.
To every mom who’s trying to raise little ones while growing spiritually,
can I just say, “Go easy on yourself.”
God doesn’t need a ritual to make Himself known.
He just needs a heart open to knowing Him.
So last week I left Joshua in the wilderness and Rahab standing at her window,
both waiting to be saved-
and took lots of walks to the “grocery store with books” instead.
I spent hours in the park.
And even had the chance to reconnect with an old college friend.
I thought of Joshua often,
picturing him at the edge of the Jordan surrounded by anxious Israelites,
as if he were frozen in time waiting for me to turn the page on history.
But deep inside I knew…..
the only story’s page I can truly turn is my own.
And I want to be sure I fill the pages up before each chapter ends……..
And don’t chapters end too quickly?
So this morning I read about Joshua leading the people over the Jordan.
I read about Rahab’s family being saved.
And I read about people who chose to disobey God,
even in the Promised Land.
But last week,
I found hope on a hike.
and joy on my shoulders,
and beauty in creation.
God told the Israelites to take stones from the bottom of the Jordan River and build a memorial to remember how He had saved them once again.
And last week I took a picture of these stones someone else had strategically stacked…….
and they will forever remind me of Spring Break 2019.
And how it saved me.