Email Entry From Today

Dearest Prayer Warriors,

If I had every adjective in the world that describes “special, amazing, irreplaceable,” and so many other words in my heart, I could never begin to describe how I feel about all of you. I love you so much.

I know that God is still working in spite of our news today.

We learned today that Nick’s left hip is actually fractured. Also, it appears that there is cancer in both of his upper legs and hips. After conferring with our oncologist and our pediatrician, we are planning to stay in Grayson until Monday evening as planned and then be at the hospital by 6:30 a.m on Tuesday for Nick’s MRI of his brain and spine. After this we will have a lot of decisions to make. Nick knows. He was upset at first and then within minutes was playing a video game with his brother Evan. God is so good.

Until then, Nick must use a wheelchair and crutches. He can have no weight on his left leg. We have some other things coming this evening to help out in the bathroom. We just don’t want Nick to fall.

Please pray specifically for his pain to be minimal.

And continue to pray that the doctors will have wisdom as they make critical decisions about surgeries/treatments/etc. The Jericho March will still begin on Monday, the 18th. Simply walk around your block or workplace or somewhere and pray that the devil will not rob, steal, or destroy our family by things like worry, fear, loss, anger, etc. Please also pray for Natalie as you pray for Nick. Also, please continue to pray for a miracle on this planet. We know that with God all things are possible.

For now I have rearranged furniture and made the downstairs wheelchair-friendly. We are determined to embrace this weekend with laughter and love. I dread the darkness. So pray for our nights to be peaceful.

I do want to tell you how God showed Himself to me today and why, once again, I feel peace.

Just this morning as I sat in the waiting room (only one person could be with Nick at a time-Mamaw was with him), I was praying for Nick and praying that God would send someone I knew to the hospital for a little comfort or peace.

I was leaning my head back when I heard the nurse come in and say, “Grace Word.” I popped up my head and thought, “Where? That’s Kathy’s daughter. I jumped up and went out in the hall and looked around, because I knew I hadn’t seen them anywhere. Sure enough after looking two different places, there stood Kathy! I couldn’t believe it. See, Kathy is a friend who I became close to seven years ago when we worked together. I grew to love her passion and her prayers. When Nick was in the hospital for the first time awaiting his first brain surgery, they were having trouble with his veins. In the middle of the night, I was crying and reading the Bible and felt this nudge to call Kathy at 3 a.m. and ask her to pray. When I did, she answered like it was the middle of the afternoon. As I was telling her the situation, a nurse came down to me (I was on the floor) and asked if I was okay. I nodded my head “no” and she sat down in front of me. I told Kathy good bye, and this nurse began to talk to me. She quoted a Scripture. She told me she was in charge that night and usually never left the floor but had a nudge to go get a snack. It was such a God-moment. And she came in to do Nick’s next bloodwork. As she finished she said, “Thank you, God.” So today when I saw Kathy, I remembered His presence six years ago and I knew He was still with us. He loves Nick. Kathy talked with me and prayed with me. It was wonderful!

Now, looking back on this morning, I know that God was preparing me for this afternoon.

Please pray for Nick. He is scared and full of questions but he is also amazingly at peace at the same time. He is so special.

Pray for our other kids as they learn of the news.

I was just trying to add a photo of this morning and just had another amazing message from God. I couldn’t find my flash drive on the “attach a file” list, so I copied this email to start over. When I went to a new compose email and clicked “paste” this is what came up:

I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

I have not idea where this would have been saved and how it would have come up with no explanation. The words that are in bold were in bold when it popped up. I am speechless. I just keep looking at it and thinking, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

I do believe and will always believe that God has a plan in each and every thing that happens in our lives –
good or bad.

He is working. He is working in my heart, Tim’s heart, Nick’s heart, Erich’s heart, Evan’s heart, Todd’s heart, Olivia’s heart, and I pray your heart.

Oh, I love you all.

I do believe the words above which I know must be a Scripture. I am going to go look it up right now.

Thank you for every prayer.

I love you all so much.

Tammy (and Tim)

8 thoughts on “Email Entry From Today

  1. I don’t know what brought me back here again today. (well of course I know it was God) But here I sit with tears streaming down my face. When I first read your news I just had to shut my eyes. Oh yes, God still performs miracles!! But tonight I am just praying that you all will literally feel HIM sustaining you.

    Love to all of you,

  2. I will be praying for you and your family. I read a little about the Jericho March and I will be walking and praying for your family on Monday morning.

  3. You are amazing! I came back to leave a message and do you know that I sent that very scripture today to another friend whos new born is in the ICU? It is Isaiah 46:3-4. God bless you and from earlier, please know that I have never thought of you in the way that you were addressed in your earlier blog. You are a precious soul!

  4. After my mother passed away from brain cancer, I felt like a needed a “ZERO TOLERANCE” shirt as well. I could relate so much to what you were expressing, Tammy. It stunned me to later read of the response you received from one woman. Her thoughtlessness was beyond my comprehension. Please don’t let her words stop you from writing, Tammy. We may never know in this world how God is using us to plant seeds in the hearts of others, but we must trust that He is doing so. Your anguish and your pain, as well as your faith and hope, is touching many people and Nick’s journey will continue to inspire others in ways you may never see. As I struggled with my own “mad” and “sad” days after my mother’s passing, I felt that the only way to “let go” was to turn my anger and hurt into doing something good for others who had also experienced cancer. In Romans 12:21, it says, “Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.” Cancer is evil, period. However, as you have shown us, we can choose to refuse to let it conquer our spirits. With God’s grace, we can conquer all that the evil of cancer forces us to face — the discouragement, fear, anger, pain and sadness. I know that it doesn’t feel much like we are “conquering” cancer when we are just struggling to get through each day without falling apart, but some days that is the very best we can do. Then, at the end of the day, if we can thank God for just one thing, we have survived and not been defeated by the evil of cancer. I will continue to pray that Nick and your family may feel God’s abiding love for you through the kindness and caring of others and that you may receive the grace you need to find peace in each minute, each hour and each day ahead.

  5. Tammy,

    Yes, He most definitely in working here.

    Will pray! Will pray!

    I know this is not the news you wanted today, but God can change it at any time!


  6. Yes God is truly at work, I feel his presence and great love each time I come to your blog.

    You give me hope and renew my faith as you continue to testify of the goodness of God, in all things…

    Praying you have many more “God-moments” along this journey.

    I’ll be walking on Monday, praying, believing and doing WAR-FARE for your precious family, and for Natalie’s as well.

    “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me” (Ps. 138:7).