Well, it’s 11:36 p.m. and I’m packing (trying to anyway) for our first family reunion without Nick.
Shew!
Sometimes that’s about all I can muster.
Nick loved trips.
He always got so excited about getting his video games ready, his jammies picked out, his pillow…..oh, his favorite pillow…it’s with him. I miss seeing it too. It was such a special part of him.
Well, tomorrow will be a 10-hour drive for a weekend with family from all over the United States. It’s a once-every-three-years event, so it’s always a fun weekend. I still want it to be fun.
I just have to keep praying for strength, for joy, for peace…….
I know that “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
So, I turn around to face the suit cases again. And I try to stay focused.
Focused on Him Who carries me through every first,
In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 
praying for you as you attend this reunion without Nick…
I know that even though you know that he is now happy, painless, loving each moment forever and ever…
you are missing that special smile!!
{{Hugs and prayers}}
For me, staying focused is the most important thing. Focusing on the here and now, focusing on what I do have, etc. I struggle sometimes with remembering Peyton AND staying focused on the present, but the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
It does get easier after the “firsts” even though knowing that seems painful.
I know you will be a light to your extended family this weekend.
Hugs to you and your family
Praying that God will use even this to speak to your heart and draw you closer to Him. I was at a family wedding this past weekend…such a happy time and yet so difficult, too! I’ll be praying for you…
Hugs, Jennifer
Praying for you and your family.
Thinking of you Tammy!!! Loving you too!!
Amy Johnson