God longs to hear us say the words “thank you,” but sometimes this comes in the midst of great sacrifice.
Chapter Eight in Nancy’s book Choosing Gratitude is called,
“But Not Without Sacrifice.”
Yesterday I took Olivia and several little friends to see a movie after school and before church…I knew it was going to be one with many tears, so I planned several errands to run in Ashland while the girls watched the movie.
As I was in the mall dropping off a broken bracelet to be repaired, I had to meander through the bookstore. This is my favorite store in the mall. I’d take book-browsing over clothes shopping most any day!
Anyway, I came upon a book entitled Reading Jesus, and as I read the summary and the beginning chapter I was pulled in and knew I wanted to read more. So I made my purchase and was on my way.
Unsuspectingly I walked past the little electronics store that I use to always take Todd and Nick in to buy new video games or just look around for fun things to go with their game systems….this was Nick’s favorite little place in the mall.
I felt my breath go out of me as I walked past the entrance to this store, realizing that never again would I go up and down the aisles of this store with Nick looking for the latest little gadget to be on clearance. I could feel tears welling up inside of me and it was almost as if I heard (not audibly but in my spirit) God say,
“Tammy, even though you will no longer be buying Nick presents, keep seeking my Presence in your life and you will be okay.”
I looked down at my bag holding the book Reading Jesus and I felt a wave of peace come over me as I knew that I was doing just that.
And I whispered, Thank you, Lord.
I guess for me the sacrifice of losing Nick even though it wasn’t one I chose willingly is still one for which ultimately God will bring joy (it may not be until I hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant) and because of this deep trusting knowledge and belief and hope that I can say,
“Thank you, Lord,” as I cling to Him who holds all things together and covers me in His sheltering wing.
Thankful today – but not without sacrifice,

In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 

Hi ,Tammy
i stoped to say hi and i love you !Also many kisses for beautiful Olivia!
One friend of mine did to me my own blog .Come, enjoy and visit me .
I will post about that on you facebook wall today!
Love you !