What did it feel like?

Twelve disciples

Five loaves of bread

Two Fish

5,000 hungry men

and

who knows how many hungry women and children

Some estimate the crowd numbered over 15,000

On their own, these men had a big problem.

Daylight was ending and the crowd needed food.

Turning to Jesus, they said exactly what I would have been thinking,

“This is a desolate place, and the day is now over;

send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.”

Matt. 14:15

This crowd clearly needed more than the disciples could offer.

It just made sense to send them away.

They were adults.

They knew how to find food.

They just needed to go………..

before it was too late.

Then Jesus said what I often cringe to hear,

“They need not go away; you give them something to eat.”

Matt. 14:16

You help them.

You figure this out.

You’ve got this.

Looking at the size of the crowd

compared to the amount of money in their pockets

(or whatever disciples used for carrying cash),

they panicked.

“It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

John 6:7

 Jesus must have grinned.

Here he stood with the men He loved so dearly………..

the very men who had watched him heal the blind and raise the dead.

And what were they doing?

They were looking in their pockets.

They were counting the cost.

I can almost hear Jesus whisper,

“The day will come for counting the cost,

but this is not the day.”

So the disciples turned to the crowd, hoping for help.

Surely some of these people brought supplies.

Surely some of these people thought ahead.

Finding one small boy with a basket, they turned to Jesus.

They held out their tiny bit of resources.

Five loaves

Two fish

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Jesus saw their eyes.

He understood their frailty.

He loved their hearts, and doing what any good Savior would do in this moment,

He spoke into their desperation just like He longs to speak into ours.

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His words surely made their hearts leap.

“Bring them here to me.”

Matt. 14:18

Jesus, the Son of God, offered His help.

I imagine they almost tripped over each other running toward Him.

Take it, please.

We can’t do this on our own.

I’ve said it a hundred times.

I can’t do this on my own.

Then Jesus did what only Jesus could do,

He took the loaves and gave thanks.

That’s right.

He told His Father “thank you” for the very thing that seemed to be “not enough”.

And I wonder if in that moment the disciples looked at each other and thought,

“Why didn’t we think of that?”

I wonder if they ever relived this memory as they faced new days of feeling empty-handed.

What do I do when I look down and find my hands holding “not enough”?

What do I do when I pull back my cushions thinking I’ll only find crumbs?

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Maybe that’s why this miracle is the only miracle besides the resurrection that’s recorded in all four Gospels.

The disciples knew that moments of “not enough”, moments of “crumbs”, would come for me and for you.

And they knew the answer.

Turn to Jesus.

Hand Him your crumbs.

Let Him speak into your nothing.

Find Jesus today.

Even in your crumbs,

let Him be your miracle.

P.S. I’m not sure where this cross came from,

but I’m saving it forever – because yesterday I found Jesus in my crumbs,

and I don’t ever want to forget He’s always there.