Matthew 27

45From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. 46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

1. to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert
2. to give up or renounce
Talk about feeling “let down.” Jesus, the very Son of God, was forsaken-deserted, abandoned, left alone.
In a warm house by a cozy fire? No.
On a beautiful beach with the waves lapping at his ankles? No.
On a rough, splinter-filled cross being held in place simply by rugged nails that painfully pierced His hands and feet? Yes.
Did He pray that this woudn’t happen? Yes!
Did God hear His prayer? Yes!
Did God love Jesus enough to save Him? Yes!
But somehow God loved mankind so deeply that He was willing to step back, turn His face, and allow evil men to murder His Son……………
for us.
And in that death, which the devil thought would end all hope for the people of the earth, God was able to perform the greatest miracle EVER! The resurrection of His Son, the final sacrifice for sin, the redemption of all mankind!
It couldn’t have made sense to Mary. It didn’t make sense to the disciples.
Jesus was dead. The Messiah was gone. I cannot even imagine the length of those three days as Jesus lay in the tomb.
Talk about a loss.
But, oh, to think of that resurrection morning! The joy that had to flow through everyone’s veins as they realized what had happened!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus was alive!!!!! Forever!!!!!! And hope became hope like it never had before.
I love that old sermon that says, “It’s Friday….but Sundays comin!”
And to think that with this knowledge rooted so deeply in my head I was able to allow one little statement to haunt me into a period of doubting.

Can God let me down?

It just amazes me how I can slip so easily.

Stumble over a pebble, really.

Falter in my faith when just a whisper of doubt rings in my ear.
Can God let me down?
Honestly, when I sit and read that tonight and even think about someone saying, “God has never let me down,” I just cringe at the reality that I allowed myself to go there.
Who would I even think I was to say, “God has never let me down,” as if He owes me anything or has some set of expectations that He has to meet in order to keep me feeling close to Him or deserving of my love.
I guess when it comes right down to it, we all have this inner desire to see God as “the good news” God. I think of so many things I have heard and even said in the past when things have gone “my way.” You’ve probably heard them too.
“God is good.”
“God has blessed me.”
“God performed a miracle.”
“God heard our prayers.”
“God has been so good to us.”
“I just knew God would come through!”
In and of themselves, I know these statements aren’t evil. But think about the power packed into the opposites of these very words……especially to the ears of someone struggling with a difficult time in their life.
“God is not good.”
“God didn’t bless me.”
“God didn’t perform a miracle.”
“God didn’t hear my prayers.”
“God hasn’t been so good to me.”
“I guess God didn’t come through for us.”
My point is this (and believe me, I am speaking to MYSELF the loudest):
We need to be careful when we make these kinds of statements in celebration of something going our way. The truth is that even if things had not gone our way these statements would have still been true.
God is always good.
SUNDAY IS COMIN’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And for Adrienne, and Nick, and Tyler, and Brittany, and Kayla, and Garrett, and Natalie, and Andrea, and Cora and so, so many more…….
SUNDAY IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did God let me down?
Absolutely not!
As one of my friends said, “God gave me the miracle of Adrienne and Nick’s lives and the miracle of their resurrections!”
I have four more to go! Adrienne and Nick are where I want all my kids to find themselves when their time comes…..safely in the arms of God.
So, for tonight, I guess I’ve had a reawakening. Thank you for all of your precious comments. I appreciated and loved them all!
I have to be honest….I was truly nervous when I read them. So afraid of being scolded. Thank you for being kind!
As I end this rather lengthy blog, I want to say this. For me, as a mom who is grieving for the second time, it really comes down to whether or not I believe God’s Word. If I don’t, then I am disappointed. I am without hope. I am bewildered, lost, “let down.”
But if I believe in the very Words to which I have clung for most of my life, then I read this passage and in spite of my tears, I feel great peace and extreme joy.
Romans 5

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

So I close by saying, “thank you.” I know that people were praying for me today, because I smiled and laughed my way through my first day of subbing back at the middle school with all of Nick’s friends. I hugged so many of his 8th grade buddies. I felt their love for Nick and for me.

But even more than that, I felt God loving me through the day.

Resting in the Power of the Resurrection!