For years I heard countless messages about the importance of reading my Bible every day and praying more than just before meals or as I lay down to sleep………….
and for years, I felt guilty.
Because as much as I loved God, there was always something that I needed to do………….”and then I will start having quiet time with God,” I would think to myself.
Days slipped into weeks which soon became months settling very discreetly into years. Taking care of babies, raising toddlers, running children to and from sports and lessons, reentering school for myself followed by a career………….all noble acts in the world’s eyes, but something was missing.
Years ago when our daughter died, life stopped for a season and turning to God in a deeper way seemed logical and necessary. But soon, the wheel of life began to turn again until it was once again rolling at neck-breaking speed. I turned around one day to discover that with the movement of life’s wheel I had also moved God back into His little safe box. Church, a few devotionals from time to time, and prayer as needed. And once again something was missing.
Then Nick was diagnosed with cancer. Not once but six times. Each time has sent me spiraling, but each time has brought me closer. Closer to where God wants me. Closer to His throne.
Now, my time with Him is all that matters. Everything else can wait. The box that God was in now contains my laundry, my bathrooms, my dishes………..everything that came before Him. As I type this, I scan my bedroom and have to smile. Stack of books, an unpacked suitcase, so many things that use to seem so significant sit and wait patiently for their turn in my list of “to do’s.” And I’m okay.
Because in the end when I stand before Him, I just don’t think he’ll care if my sink is empty or my laundry is all clean.
No, I think He wants my heart…………..emptied of this world and clean!
So, my days now demand to be started with Him……………my thoughts constantly swirl to Him………..my heart forever yearns for Him…………….and my life is totally committed to Him.
25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28″And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Seeking Him Daily,
Thanks Tammy for reminding me once again what really matters in life.
Going to grab my bible now…
Great post! You are an inspiration and I’m glad you’re seeking Him daily. Sad that it takes the trials to send us to Him but at least we get there eventually.
Oh, you got a face lift. I mean blog lift. Nice. I love the heart on the Bible.
I see you’ve added me as a favorite site. How very precious that is to me.
I love how you tied these together:
“Because in the end when I stand before Him, I just don’t think he’ll care if my sink is empty or my laundry is all clean.
No, I think He wants my heart…………..emptied of this world and clean!”
I have been in those dry times. It’s it odd that it is in the tragic times that we need Him most and we cling to Him. I think that is the reason He allows those times. I’ve grown so much in this past year with the trial of my marriage. I would give anything to have my marriage restored but I would never turn back to who I was and give up what God has done in me this year.
He is all that matters.
I did not know you lost a daughter. I am so sorry for your loss.
Aloha Tammy… First I just want to tell you how beauitful your blog is, I luv it!!. It really represents your Love and Heart for the Lord as well as for your family. We continue to hold Nick up in prayer here in Hawaii. Mariah has been away at camp for the summer, she will be finished at the end of this week, so please tell Olivia she will be expecting some mail that Mariah will send out this weekend. Keep writing Tammy I feel the spirit in your writing.