If I tried to write about anything else this morning, I would definitely be pretending that what just happened didn’t……but it did.
Every morning, I get up and take the puppies from their nighttime cage to the back room where the puppy pads are located.
Then I make coffee, straighten up a few things in the kitchen, check the status of laundry from the night before, and then come down to the family room to read and write to all of you.
This morning I made it to the laundry room, but as I walking through the room in the dark headed to the half bath, I didn’t realize that either Peppy or Snoopy, who are getting so old and are just starting to have accidents from time to time, had not made it outside to potty. My bare feet hit their accident unknowingly, and honestly, I haven’t fallen like this since I was a little girl. Before I could even take another breath, I was on the floor, legs split apart, knee hitting one door frame as my head slammed into the other. In a state of almost shock, I managed to get up and turn on a light and process what had happened. After cleaning the floor while hurting literally from head to toe, I took some ibuprofen and am now feeling the reality of what happened. I think I twisted my back somehow. My wrist is throbbing. I have a knot raising beside my right eye, and I have a pump knot coming up on my knee……and two of my toes hurt (they must have curled under in the fall).
Part of me wants to cry, but another part of me knows that slipping in dog potty is anything but a somber event. Honestly, who slips in dog potty at 5:30 in the morning in their laundry room?
I think I’d rather say I went roller skating last night and took a tumble on the rink, or I was shingling a patch in our roof and my foot slipped and I fell to the ground.
Surely there’s a more noble way to explain my pain and the obvious swellings that are just now surfacing. It hurts to blink, so I don’t think I’m going to be able to hide the truth of my morning from my students.
Maybe they can just prop me up in a chair and read silently, although I don’t see that happening………
So I’m going to have to rise above this fall somehow, and I can’t help but think of last night when I overreacted in a situation with Tim and said unkind words right after watching the movie Courageous at church and truly left him feeling defeated.
Yep, I fell twice in the last 24 hours.
I’m pretty sure that the pain I’m feeling in my body this morning may have been a Providential plan to make me fess up.
Sometimes I really hate blogging, and if you’re not a blogger you’re probably thinking, “Why in the world do you blog? And why would you share such personal things in a public forum?”
And here’s the truth:
When I started blogging over four years ago, I really needed an outlet for my journey with Nick. I had been emailing such a large number of prayer warriors for two years, and I was starting to think, “Some people may be tired of seeing my name in their inbox.” So, I thought a blog would be a way for people to “choose” whether or not they wanted to know what was going on with Nick and with our family rather than forcing my way into their home.
Now, I can’t stop.
I have fallen in love with all of you; and in a way, you have all become my accountability partners, my prayer warriors, my friends.
And to sit here this morning and type without sharing the unbelievable reality of the aches moving through my body and my heart would be deceptive and wrong.
If I am going to continue blogging, I have to be true to you and to myself.
Sometimes in potty.
Sometimes in my marriage.
Sometimes as a mom.
I fall hard.
I hurt myself, and I hurt others.
It’s sometimes ugly……..dog potty is not pretty.
But it happens.
And what do I do?
I get up.
What else can I do?
I thought about just sitting there until someone found me, but at 5:30 a.m. I may have been sitting there a while in the dark.
Have you fallen lately?
Are you hurting from something you have done?
Take care of what you can.
And share your pain with someone who can help you.
I’m going to venture to the shower. I’ll probably take another look in the mirror on the way, because my right eye definitely feels swollen.
Sometimes we just can’t hide our pain.
I’m pretty sure Tim is going to laugh and feel some sort of poetic justice has been served when I share my morning story.
Sometimes falling can humble us like nothing else can.
With a deep breath, I leave you with you this Scripture promise that brings me hope this morning,
The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down