She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had,
yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
Mark 5:26
As I was reading the Bible this morning,
the six words above seemed to jump off the page at me.
“And had spent all she had.”
You’ve been there, haven’t you?
Maybe not literally, but emotionally or mentally.
No more options.
Pockets empty.
And things just seem to keep getting worse.
It’s times like these that push us to try drastic things.
I remember when the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do for Nick.
I remember slipping into a room with the oncologist by myself and having a meltdown as Tim took Nick to the van.
I remember the long ride home from Cincinnati after that when I had to wipe my tears, suck it up, and somehow have normal conversations with them the entire way home.
Tim was so strong.
I played along.
About two weeks after that horrific day, I somehow heard of an Amish herbalist in the middle of nowhere in Indiana who could supposedly heal anything with the right herbs.
Evan, Donnette, Nick and I set out on a five-hour journey to meet this man with only directions and a prayer.
Tim let us go.
Tim knew I had to try anything.
I imagine the lady in the story above who had “spent all she had” was a lot like me at that point in my life.
And then she heard Jesus was in town.
The crowd was intense.
Gaining the attention of Jesus in the midst of the sea of people would be nearly impossible.
She didn’t seem to have people in her life who were willing to cut a whole in the roof of a house to lower her into Jesus’ presence.
She was just one of many in a crowd.
But somehow Jesus came near her.
“If I can just touch Him,” she must have thought.
“If I can just touch Him my life will change forever.”
And she did.
She reached out and in an instant she was healed.
And Jesus knew.
Healing today isn’t the same as it was in Jesus’ time.
Sometimes I wish it was that easy.
But I remind myself that even those who were healed then eventually died.
Their healing wasn’t really the miracle.
The miracle was their encounter with the Savior.
That’s what changed their life forever.
See, when you reach out in faith for Jesus.
He is near.
Even if you feel you have “spent all you had,”
He offers hope.
And He longs to change your life forever.
Financial peace may not be the miracle.
Physical healing may not be the miracle.
However, what He offers lasts so much longer than either of those earthly gains.
Jesus longs to transform your life from the inside out so that you can handle the debt, the pain, the sickness, the sadness, the stress.
He is the great perspective changer.
Seeing life through His eyes suddenly transforms our priorities.
Seeing life through His eyes washes away our own wants and replaces them with the needs of others.
Seeing life through His eyes helps us deal with prayers that seem unanswered.
The Amish herbalist I mentioned earlier sold us some herbs on the day we visited him.
Nick willingly tried them for a while.
But his cancer continued to grow.
I’ll never quite understand why Nick’s fight had to end in death.
We did reach out to Jesus every single day of his journey.
And we trusted Him with Nick.
But I still believe, in spite of our sorrow, that Nick was healed.
Totally.
Completely.
Eternally.
For us, the reaching out to Jesus didn’t bring an earthly miracle for Nick,
but it did bring an earthly miracle to our family as we walk the road of grief.
And I know Nick received the greatest miracle of all.
Heaven.
If you feel like you’ve spent all you had,
reach out to Jesus today.
He’s near.
He will notice.
He can change everything about what you’re facing today.

In December of 2007 as our youngest son, Nick, was fighting brain cancer, I began to blog. Writing provided a way for me to release all of my questions, fears, and doubts. It also allowed me to share the ups and downs of Nick's journey with people who were praying for him all over the world. When Nick went Home in November of 2008, my blog became my way of searching for God in the midst of my deep heartache. My heart was broken and grief brought to the surface every emotion imaginable. Being able to release those emotions through my writing brought a sense of purpose to my pain. Having already walked the road of grief in 1992 when we lost our daughter to SIDS, I knew I needed a way to keep from falling into a pit of depression and despair. I had walked close to the edge of a bottomless pit when we lost our daughter,and I knew I couldn't let myself get that close to the edge again. This blog has been and continues to be my tiny corner of the world where I can share My Heart as I journey through God's Word.......thus the name........ My Heart His Words. Thank you for taking time to share life with me. If we do not meet while here on earth, I look forward to hearing all about your life when we reach our final destiny.........Heaven! Email me anytime at 

Well written dear friend-I
love you!
Beautiful.
Sandy B