Day after day,
for the past couple months,
my fingers have rested on this keyboard………………..motionless.
Thoughts bouncing wildly around in my mind and
emotions running deeply through my heart,
yet fingers refusing to budge.
Sometimes finding a way to connect thoughts and feelings into coherent sentences feels like trying to tie a knot in a tiny strand of thread while wearing gloves.
Today, I’m taking off the gloves.
I’ve fought with my emotions internally for way too long,
Do you ever wake up and just know today is the day to push through the pain?
Jump a hurdle even when it looks much more like a giant wall.
Break the silence in a way-too-loud world.
And maybe that’s just it.
Why speak when it feels like the world is screaming?
That’s been my excuse every time I’ve stared at a blank screen.
Words are everywhere.
From street signs to books to social media to texts to emails to news………………
there’s no shortage on thoughts, opinions, and facts.
But today I hear a whisper,
There can never be enough of Me.
The One who is Enough gently reminds me that He is so much more.
So I begin clicking,
because He is here,
guiding my fingers………
helping me rediscover the part of me that has been lost in hurt, anger, sadness, fear, and even joy.
Yes, in the midst of so much in our family’s life that has been out of control and troubling,
life has been filled with plenty of happiness too.
And why am I surprised??
“I am come that they might have life,
and that they might have it more abundantly.”
but He also said,
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
So the juggling of laughter and tears,
hope and despair,
good news and bad news,
kind words and words that cut to the quick,
joy and grief,
hellos and goodbyes………..
it’s all part of His plan.
What would we even be like if life were all bad or all good?
Unbearable, at best, I am sure.
So today, I’m thanking Him for the parts of my life that are filled with peace and love,
but I’m also thanking Him for the parts of my life that hurt.
Because every ounce of burden I carry is actually incredibly light when I remember the One who is willingly and unconditionally carrying me.
The One who said,
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Sometimes it’s hard to feel this light and easy yoke in a world beat up and battered by everything from selfish and angry people to powerful and merciless storms.
It’s hard to see the sun when the rain won’t stop coming down.
But I’ll never stop believing He’s here.
Bringing beauty from ashes,
Good from bad,
Joy from pain.
I can’t face today without Him in it,
I could never face my tomorrows if I didn’t believe He was already there.
It’s September 1st, 2017,
and I’m determined to keep my fingers moving from this day forward.
Because when I do,
I feel better.
Breaking the silence in a way-too-loud world feels good when it turns me away from the chaos and directly toward Him who confidently says to every storm,
“Peace. Be still.”